Gratitude

 

I once traveled with a friend who had great insight into human nature.  He said, “Wherever you go you can find something to complain about.”  If we travel, we can complain about lumpy beds and crowded airports.  But if we stay home, we can complain that we never go anywhere interesting and there’s never anything good on television.  In Japanese language there is a term  -- on.  The meaning of on often includes a sense of gratitude combined with a desire to repay others for what we have been given.  It’s not just that we feel grateful, or that we express our gratitude, but that we actually experience a sincere desire to give something back.  We might think of it as appreciation that stimulates a sense of obligation.  Not an externally imposed obligation.  But a sense of obligation that arises naturally within us as we recognize how we have been supported and cared for by others.

                                                                                

So how do we go from a complaining life to one which cultivates, and is grounded in, a spirit of on – a spirit of Thanksgiving?  A method of Japanese psychology called Naikan gives us insight into the principles help create an authentic life of gratitude and offer us clear and straightforward methods for helping to wake us up to the care, support and gifts that make our own lives possible.

Articles From the

ToDo Institute’s Resource Library

 

Cultivating Gratitude:

An Interview with Robert Emmons, Ph.D.

Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, is one of the foremost authorities on the topic of gratitude in North America. He is the author of more than sixty research articles and several books including, Words of Gratitude: For Mind, Body & Soul (Templeton Foundation Press, 2001 - co-authored with Joanna Hill) and, Thanks! (Houghton Mifflin, 2008). He has been studying what makes people happy for nearly twenty years and in this interview, conducted by Thirty Thousand Days Ass't Editor Trudy Boyle, Emmons reveals some of his conclusions about the practice and importance of cultivating gratitude.

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Living on Purpose a month long distance learning program January 11 - February 10, 2010 You are invited to join us for a month-long journey, right from the comfort of your own home, to start off the New Year. Our Living on Purpose program will give you a chance to set your compass for 2010, while enjoying the camaraderie of our online global community.  Many of us desire to live a more purposeful life. We want to use our time well, to put our energy towards that which truly matters, to leave behind a postive legacy. But when we step back and take an honest look at how we're living...we're not satisfied. Maybe we're spending too much time doing things that feel urgent, but aren't particulary important. Maybe we find ourselves frequently being pulled off course by our feelings — feelings of fear, anxiety, or depression. Maybe we just procrastinate on doing what we know we need to do or maybe we're just confused about what our purpose should really be. This course is designed to help you get on the path to a more purposeful life. We'll draw on exercises of self-reflection (Naikan) and methods from Morita therapy (known as the Psychology of Action). We'll incorporate ideas from Viktor Frankl, Stephen Covey, and William Damon. This is a course about direction - about finding direction, setting direction, and staying on course. Click here to register for this program. Space is limited. Register before December 28th in order to avoid a $5 late fee.

 

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Author, Gregg Krech, discusses the theme Cultivating a Sense of Gratitude in Relationships based on his presentation for the One World Library Project.

 

The Art of Self-Reflection

Naikan is a method of self-reflection developed in Japan by Yoshimoto Ishin. Its structure uses our relationships with other as the mirror in which we can see ourselves. We reflect on what we have received from others, what we have given, and what troubles we have caused. Genuine self-reflection affects so many aspects of our life—the presence of gratitude, our relationships with our loved ones, the degree of judgment we place on other's faults, our mental health, lifestyle choices, investment decisions, even our faith in a supreme being or force.

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Attention, Obstacles and Gratitude (audio)

An excerpt from a public radio interview with author Gregg Krech about attention , obstacles and the experience of gratitude. Approximately 2 1/2 minutes....

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A Hurricane with My Mother's Name Would Not Destroy Me

So what does gratitude have to do with any of this??? First, the hurricane stripped the veil of the ordinary from my eyes. Electricity is miraculous not ordinary. Without it, the sirloin rots, the mattress mildews, the milk curdles. Gasoline is not ordinary either. Without it, the Honda becomes an aluminum shed and the groceries must be walked home in a pull cart, a trip that turns Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia into soup.

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Giving Thanks

I benefit (quite often, I might add) when others/things are simply doing their job. When I experience this and respond with thanks, my world changes. Try it. Go through one whole day, saying "thank you" to everything and everyone who does something that serves you in any way.

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The full text of this article is available to ToDo Institute members only.

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Seven Principles for Cultivating Gratitude

By Gregg Krech

1. Gratitude is independent of one's objective life circumstances;
2. Gratitude is a function of attention;
3. Entitlement makes gratitude impossible;
4. When we continue to receive something on a regular basis, we typically begin to take it for granted;
5. Our deepest sense of gratitude comes through grace -- the awareness that we have not earned, nor do we deserve what we have been given;
6. Gratitude can be cultivated through sincere self-reflection; and
7. The expression of gratitude (through words and deeds) has the affect of heightening our personal experience of gratitude.

Expressing Gratitude is Transformative

“ Expressing gratitude is transformative, just as transformative as expressing complaint. Imagine an experiment involving two people. One is asked to spend ten minutes each morning and evening expressing gratitude (there is always something to be grateful for), while the other is asked to spend the same amount of time practicing complaining (there is, after all, always something to complain about). One of the subjects is saying things like, "I hate my job. I can't stand this apartment. Why can't I make enough money? My spouse doesn't get along with me. That dog next door never stops barking and I just can't stand this neighborhood." The other is saying things like, "I'm really grateful for the opportunity to work; there are so many people these days who can't even find a job. And I'm sure grateful for my health. What a gorgeous day; I really like this fall breeze." They do this experiment for a year. Guaranteed, at the end of that year the person practicing complaining will have deeply reaffirmed all his negative "stuff" rather than having let it go, while the one practicing gratitude will be a very grateful person. . . Expressing gratitude can, indeed, change our way of seeing ourselves and the world."
                                                  -Roshi John Daido Loori

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Recommended Books

• Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection
  by Gregg Krech
• Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier
  by Robert A. Emmosn, Ph.D.
• Try Giving Yourself Away
  by David Dunn

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“We pray for our daily bread; bread gives us the strength to do so. ”
R.H. Blyth

“If the only prayer you say your entire life is 'thank you' that would suffice.”
Meister Eckhart

"Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted--a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

        Rabbi Harold Kushner

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