Relationships are perhaps the most-often neglected "big rock" in our vase of priorities (or out of the vase). Too often, it is the most important and least urgent matter of the day. Our tendency to take our marriage for granted is often directly related to the steadiness of our partner. The more they are there for us, the more we can put our attention elsewhere. This, of course, is a time-tested formula for collapse. When we realize that we have relegated our marriage to a little corner of the guest room, then we must decide how to act on our newfound awareness. Our kids will not stop demanding our attention. Our work will not stop overflowing upon our cluttered desks. But our relationship will continue to collect dust until we decide to bring it to the forefront of our life.
- Gregg Krech
Thirty Thousand Days represents the average amount of days a person in North America will live. It reminds us that life is finite and we must use our time wisely. The purpose of our online ezine is to complement our printed journal by offering you guidance, inspiration and practical advice for moving forward in your life. Published by the ToDo Institute, our work is grounded in Japanese Psychology and represents values such as living on purpose, mindfulness, gratitude, compassion and striving to live a meaningful life even as we are constantly subject to distraction.
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Cultivating a Sense of Gratitude in Relationships
by Gregg Krech
Valentine's Day is almost here! If you have an intimate partner, take a moment to view this insightful presentation. Chances are that you and your partner have had your share of ups and downs, if you've been together for a while. You may even be on the outs right now. Take heart. Based on a presentation for the One World Library Project, Gregg Krech has compiled a wealth of wisdom about love and gratitude that will help you to celebrate your partnership, irreconcilable differences and all, through wisdom that cultivates appreciation instead of criticism.
http://www.todoinstitute.org/relationships.html
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The Fringe Benefits of Failure (video)
J.K. Rowling (author of Harry Potter)
 "We all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is
quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to
say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation
day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had
imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be
in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for
me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual
standard, I was the biggest failure I knew. Now, I am not going to stand here
and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one . . . So
why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a
stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was
anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing
the only work that mattered to me."
(from her 2008 commencement address at
Harvard University -- now on video)
http://www.todoinstitute.org/anxiety.html
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Married (Happily) with Issues
Elizabeth Weil provides an
entertaining, yet thought-provoking chronicle of her adventures to improve her
marriage, taking guidance from mainstream books, classes and counseling. Elizabeth's
candid portrait of her marriage reveals struggles that many of us can relate
to, and we have the chance to see how these struggles are addressed by the "experts." Although the sex therapy section is a tad weird, this
article provides a window into the confusing and sometimes destabilizing world
of couples counseling. As you read this,
think about how the couple's attention is being directed, and notice the results. Our conclusion -- don't neglect your marriage but tread
carefully when tampering with love. Read the full New York Times Article here.
--If asked for login information use this: username = todoinstitute1
password = nytimes
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Making Friends with Heartbreak
 All of us
know what loss feels like, we know what it's like to live with a hole in our
heart and in our lives. In this article, Susan Piver provides some gentle
guidance for navigating through such times, using the powerful tools of
attention and acceptance. Rather than trying to control the feelings that
arise, Susan suggests befriending and accepting them. Rather than struggling
with them, invite them in. There is a simple, gentle wisdom to this piece that
can help us to find our way, moment by moment, through the rising and falling of
feelings.
Read the full article here
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Upcoming Courses
Renewing Your Relationship
A Distance Learning Program
Feb 15 - March 17, 2010
Dedicate this one month towards putting some energy and attention back into the person you love.
Don't spend more time on the Internet than you do on your primary relationship. A web-based course that includes an audio program, daily exercises, online resources and a specially selected collection of reading materials.
http://www.todoinstitute.org/ldlp_renew.html
Register by February 8th to avoid late registration fee.
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Naikan Retreat
March 20 - 27, 2010
Monkton, Vermont
Take a week and step back from your life to reflect on your entire life. A profound experience that helps you cultivate gratitude, develop faith, and map out a new direction for your life.
http://www.todoinstitute.org/naikanretreat.html
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Interact with ToDo Institute on Facebook
 Become a fan of ToDo Institute on Facebook, and get updates on long distance learning programs, retreats, and
workshops.
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Published by the ToDo Institute
A non-profit educational center that adapts methods of psychology from the East for people living in the West.
An elegant blend of the psychological, the spiritual and the practical.
Contact us at:
todo@todoinstitute.com
(802) 453-4440
www.todoinstitute.org
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