Hi Sharyn,

You seem to be co-existing with your alcohol dependency and maintaining a relatively constructive lifestyle. For most people, they give up their alcohol addiction when they cannot bear to continue living with it. This is sometimes referred to as "hitting bottom." There is an exercise that comes from Naikan reflection in which you reflect on all the time and money you have spent on alcohol for the past few years, plus all the suffering and problems your drinking has caused others, and finally what you actually received from alcohol during this time. You may wish to try such a reflection for an hour and see what you become aware of.

Best wishes for the holiday season,

Gregg Krech
author, Naikan:Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of Self-reflection (Stone Brige Press).

I have been alcohol dependent for 5-6 yrs now, and so wish to have it all end. I have been in and out of recovery 12 step mtgs. and do not agree with their "Higher Power" ideology. My life comes and goes: positive to negative, yet I always maintain a "Positive" attiude to get me through. Somehow this is lacking something, because I still persue the feeling of getting loaded, and it concerns me.I do the things that need to be done on a daily basis,not a perfectionist, am grateful for what I have, addicted to spending to help me feel better about who I am, am employed, work full time, have a lover or SO who lives with me off and on.. he's schizophrenic and also in recovery...
What else is there to do?

I always think that somewhere, somehow the learning about my own alcoholism will be different. I learned about reading this , that it is not. It's all about me and no one else! Naikan places the same importance on living life as the 12 steps do. Thanks for allowing me to read and understand more about myself!

keep the good work

Each time I read this article I can relate to another aspect of Mr. Kubo's struggle.I also begin to understand the struggles of those I love.

In AA they have what is called the "attitude of gratitude". This case study demonstartes the beauty of that through Naikan.

Thank you.

Good story. It is a real testiment to the power of self reflection and positive action. As a long-time recovering alcoholic, I understand just how important it is to take a personal inventory, not only once, but daily. I believe what you are saying works, but also believe that regular attendance at AA meetings (non-judgmental by nature) and abiding by the principals set out by the AA program is what keeps me sober one day at a time.

Peace